[fic] Used to be alright - Tsuna/Chrome
Dec. 19th, 2010 04:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melissa_42Title: Used to be alright
Pairing: Tsuna/Chrome
Rating: PG, implied child abuse
Word Count: 600~
Summary: Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and Tsuna has become intimately aware how of very true this is in the context of his own life.
A/N: Written for the prompt ‘physical child abuse’ on my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hc_bingo card. (my last prompt needed for a bingo! \o/) Title taken from the song ‘15 Steps’ by Radiohead.
Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and Tsuna has become intimately aware how of very true this is in the context of his own life. He now takes back any complaints he might have had about his failure-filled childhood because despite being doomed to a future of daily grind drudgery, at least life was spectacularly comfortable before the mafia sucked him in. But time has taken him in her current, and he has been left like driftwood on the banks, twenty-seven with this innocence stripped away forever.
There are times when he desperately wishes to have his mind wiped clean of all he has seen, to hang his cloak on someone else and start his life anew, away from the violence; to simply exist, safe and quiet. Ignorance is bliss.
Tonight is one of those nights. He awakens with a gasp of breath, limbs still sluggish from sleep, mind racing. It takes him two seconds to identify his bedroom and another second to identify the hand stroking gently through his hair.
“Bad dream?” Chrome asks, her voice as soft as the whisper of the sheets against their skin.
“Yeah,” he answers, scrubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes.
“About the children?”
He can still see them, clear as yesterday afternoon. Their dead eyes stare at him from too young faces. In the background, he can hear Gokudera, or maybe it is Yamamoto, telling him that the situation is under control, even when those eyes speak a silent contradiction. Whoever is there with him lays a heavy hand on his shoulder (the fingernails are yellow—it must be Gokudera) and guides him out of the musty house. It is at that moment, standing in the front drive with dust clinging to the legs of his dark trousers, when it dawns on him that no matter how many futures he changes, no matter how many people he helps, he can never change the past—not his own, not his friends’, not those children’s—and this realization must hit him hard enough to show because Gokudera asks him what is wrong.
“We’ll make sure it’s taken care of,” Gokudera says, and Tsuna is not sure if his friend is talking about the children or their scumbag of a father. Either way, he has not felt this helpless since he first realized that he could not escape being boss of the Vongola. It hurts him that he cannot save everyone, that maybe he is contributing to the problem. He is a criminal, after all.
He does not tell Chrome the details of the dream and is grateful that she does not pry. Chrome never pries, and that is one of the qualities he loves about her.
Perhaps she does not ask questions because she has that innate way of knowing exactly what he is thinking. “Pain is part of life,” she says as she continues untangling the knots from Tsuna’s hair, playing with the wisps at his temples. “Mukuro-sama says that Earth is a level of Hell. You can’t escape it, but it’s only temporary.”
“Well, that’s comforting.”
A soft whuffle of breath gusts against his hair, Chrome’s laughter.
“Still, the kids…” Tsuna trails off. He wants to tell her they don’t deserve this, that no one deserves this, but Chrome already knows, so it seems pointless to say it out loud. “I feel like I’m personally responsible, like I should have noticed something earlier. Stupid, isn’t it?”
Chrome shakes her head and curls in tighter against him. “No. You have a big heart.”
“Chrome…”
“It’s true,” she interrupts. “Now, go back to sleep.”
He can tell she is using her flame on him because he drifts off again preternaturally quickly, and the dreams he has are hazy and pleasant, full of children’s smiles, innocent hearts, and peace, with a soft hint of nostalgia.
Ignorance is bliss.
Pairing: Tsuna/Chrome
Rating: PG, implied child abuse
Word Count: 600~
Summary: Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and Tsuna has become intimately aware how of very true this is in the context of his own life.
A/N: Written for the prompt ‘physical child abuse’ on my
hc_bingo card. (my last prompt needed for a bingo! \o/) Title taken from the song ‘15 Steps’ by Radiohead.Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and Tsuna has become intimately aware how of very true this is in the context of his own life. He now takes back any complaints he might have had about his failure-filled childhood because despite being doomed to a future of daily grind drudgery, at least life was spectacularly comfortable before the mafia sucked him in. But time has taken him in her current, and he has been left like driftwood on the banks, twenty-seven with this innocence stripped away forever.
There are times when he desperately wishes to have his mind wiped clean of all he has seen, to hang his cloak on someone else and start his life anew, away from the violence; to simply exist, safe and quiet. Ignorance is bliss.
Tonight is one of those nights. He awakens with a gasp of breath, limbs still sluggish from sleep, mind racing. It takes him two seconds to identify his bedroom and another second to identify the hand stroking gently through his hair.
“Bad dream?” Chrome asks, her voice as soft as the whisper of the sheets against their skin.
“Yeah,” he answers, scrubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes.
“About the children?”
He can still see them, clear as yesterday afternoon. Their dead eyes stare at him from too young faces. In the background, he can hear Gokudera, or maybe it is Yamamoto, telling him that the situation is under control, even when those eyes speak a silent contradiction. Whoever is there with him lays a heavy hand on his shoulder (the fingernails are yellow—it must be Gokudera) and guides him out of the musty house. It is at that moment, standing in the front drive with dust clinging to the legs of his dark trousers, when it dawns on him that no matter how many futures he changes, no matter how many people he helps, he can never change the past—not his own, not his friends’, not those children’s—and this realization must hit him hard enough to show because Gokudera asks him what is wrong.
“We’ll make sure it’s taken care of,” Gokudera says, and Tsuna is not sure if his friend is talking about the children or their scumbag of a father. Either way, he has not felt this helpless since he first realized that he could not escape being boss of the Vongola. It hurts him that he cannot save everyone, that maybe he is contributing to the problem. He is a criminal, after all.
He does not tell Chrome the details of the dream and is grateful that she does not pry. Chrome never pries, and that is one of the qualities he loves about her.
Perhaps she does not ask questions because she has that innate way of knowing exactly what he is thinking. “Pain is part of life,” she says as she continues untangling the knots from Tsuna’s hair, playing with the wisps at his temples. “Mukuro-sama says that Earth is a level of Hell. You can’t escape it, but it’s only temporary.”
“Well, that’s comforting.”
A soft whuffle of breath gusts against his hair, Chrome’s laughter.
“Still, the kids…” Tsuna trails off. He wants to tell her they don’t deserve this, that no one deserves this, but Chrome already knows, so it seems pointless to say it out loud. “I feel like I’m personally responsible, like I should have noticed something earlier. Stupid, isn’t it?”
Chrome shakes her head and curls in tighter against him. “No. You have a big heart.”
“Chrome…”
“It’s true,” she interrupts. “Now, go back to sleep.”
He can tell she is using her flame on him because he drifts off again preternaturally quickly, and the dreams he has are hazy and pleasant, full of children’s smiles, innocent hearts, and peace, with a soft hint of nostalgia.
Ignorance is bliss.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-12-19 11:24 pm (UTC)I've always thought that Chrome would be good support for Tsuna-she isn't clingy (to him at least), she doesn't insert herself into conversation, and while she doesn't look at him with any false notions, she still sees the Boss behind all that Dame. Quietly pushing him in the right direction from behind (even if that's not the way he would like to go, though he knows it's best), that's our mist.
Also, as far as imagery goes, I like how little you touched on the actual abuse part. It's like, there's a great story there, but so much is left out-the details of why the Vongola are there, what happened to them, how many children were there, what happened to the father-because in Tsuna's eyes, none of that matters. All that matters is that there were children that he couldn't protect from their own family. It doesn't matter what the father was doing, or what happens to the children after this, or even how many people were involved-all Tsuna cares about, the only thing in his nightmares, is that he couldn't protect them.
PS-I like Chrome going in and messing with his dreams to help him rest. But I can't help but wonder, why wasn't she sleeping too?
no subject
Date: 2010-12-20 01:50 am (UTC)I'd put off this prompt till last because I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with writing about child abuse, and when it came down to it, I had to leave the details up to the reader. It actually worked out because I could focus on Tsuna's introspection rather than the children, which is what I wanted to get out of the piece.
Chrome spends so much time in dream worlds that I felt like it would be the easiest and most comfortable way for her to make Tsuna feel better. Hmm, I kind of just figured that she woke up when Tsuna was having the nightmare--he could have been moving around or mumbling in his sleep.
I'm glad you enjoyed this! ^^