I really like this. I thought you portrayed Tsuna and Enma very well, as well as their awkward, unfamiliar friendship. Personally I think this could have been more emotional, especially regarding the last part where Tsuna 'pushed that thought to the back of his mind'. You could have considered a more obvious mental struggle within Tsuna (because he's leaving his friends and family etc, like you mentioned, but didn't delve into it that much imo) or just more details on his thought process and emotions, because I found this to be a very heavy matter -- the plot was incredible though, and I thought Enma was perfect with his nonchalance and little-little gestures of affection, especially at the end.
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Date: 2010-06-23 11:48 pm (UTC)All in all, nice work :D